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Damn, he's good.

Y'know, in some ways, I really wish I didn't connect this. It must be nice in its own way to not feel The Terror. But I can't drive it away forever, really. It's just not who I am. Just like it's not who I am to do anything Big that would Affect Things. (Even if I could, I'm self aware enough to know I'd fuck it all up along the way.)

It's too humid here in the summers for real walks. Some people can stand it, but not me. Summer is a time of retreating as much as possible into climate controlled buildings and depression in the long sunlight, relishing the moments of stormy relief.

But... if I let The Terror overtake me, then I'm not even alive now. Not really. So I just have to have hope and support the people I care about, and when The Terror creeps up I try to let them support me. 

Because I don't want to die. And I don't want to live like I'm already dead. So what else is there?

Thank you for sharing. It's a downer, but it connects. And the photos of Wales are lovely.

I don’t really write these sorta thoughts out to be generally broadcast publicly very much due to anxiety and depression (if I did, I’d probably actually post things on twitter more often), so this is probably going to read pretty rough, but I just feel like this is the best way to express it. Basically, right around when you originally put this out after I’d been following your work on it, my laptop screen got busted and I had to send it in for repairs. It’s still stuck in the shop, but I’ve finally managed to get a temporary replacement. So I’ve been thinking about this a lot for roughly two or three months, holding off watching anyone else play it because, well, your work means a lot to me and it has since I first encountered it.

Over the past couple days I’ve just taken the chance to go through your stuff again for the first time in a while, re-experiencing it and thinking about it a lot, starting with the short stories then going into the games, saving the Winter Special for last. Some of it’s a little rougher than others, sure, just from evolution over time and my own growing as a person with evolving tastes and all that, but all of it still really vibes with me in its own way. Especially once I got to Trixie’s stuff, all of which especially strikes a chord.

My own gender and sexuality is still rather up in the air (all I’m sure on is some flavor of bi and Not Cis) and I find I have a lot of trouble reaching out or focusing or doing things Right, so Trixie is really endearing and easy to strongly connect to, even if I don’t express myself in the same way. And in some ways, she feels… achievable. That’s probably not the right word. Just, that connection with her feels like I could genuinely be in her place, that I could try and accomplish some of the same things or try and form connections. In ways I genuinely don’t see much even as much as I love a lot of other protagonists (or, well, lead characters).

I’m definitely rambling too much, so I’ll try and just cut to it. I just… kinda cried after playing the Winter Special. I cried because I still feel that really strong fondness with Trixie, and Nikita and Tabby as well, and that relatability is still there and powerful even as time’s passed and things have gotten better for them, and I’m just… really happy for everyone. And I wanted to share that, because it really meant something to me. That’s all.

So, uh. Thank you, Poppy.